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| | | One Strong Belief: We Have a Choice | | | noreply@blogger.com (Pearl Mattenson, CPCC, ACC) | | | The world is powered by passionate people, powerful ideas, and fearless action. What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it? we always have a choice The fabric of our world is woven with a promise- that we can always return to our best selves, to our core values, to our inherent capacity to create a world in which all living things can thrive. I believe it is not only a promise but a choice to be made-- to be the best we can be and align with our destiny Stoic acceptance, resignation, even despair is always knocking at the door of this belief. I am as susceptible as the people I love and live with. As I sit crouch legged on my side of the door I hear the distant calls, “ You are sunk, honey” “You’re stuck” “It isn’t going to get better, so get used to it” “What can you expect of them anyway” “It’s just the way it is” “It’s just the way I am.” When my hand stretches out to turn the knob I am in danger of betraying myself. Even as I slowly turn and consider giving in I realize—I am making a choice. What am I choosing? And with that thought, I have returned to myself. I can stand on my own two feet and see a different possibility. This belief is core for me. It is rooted in my belief in God, in my reading of the bible. In my absolute certainty that our inherent capacity to choose is divinely endowed. It is also rooted in my life experience. I have made changes over and over again. I have redeemed myself over and over again. I am resilient. My relationships are resilient. Our world is resilient. I apologize. I ask for a do-over ( I was harsh, I am sorry. It is not who I want to be. Can we try again? I care about you. ) I see each new day, each new moment as a new opportunity. (I passed a homeless man on the street without a kind word yesterday, today I will smile and say hello .) I take responsibility (Am I choosing to wallow in despair? Am I choosing to feel victimized? What can I do to shift this? Who do I need to reach out to?) | |
| | | Presence | | | noreply@blogger.com (Pearl Mattenson, CPCC, ACC) | | | Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tracks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day. Today I create with my words and my silence; today I inhabit my world with intention. | |
| | | Today...in one sentence #trust30 | | | noreply@blogger.com (Pearl Mattenson, CPCC, ACC) | | | Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tracks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day. Today I create with my words and my silence; today I inhabit my world with intention. | |
| | | 15 Minutes to Live #Trust30 | | | noreply@blogger.com (Pearl Mattenson, CPCC, ACC) | | | We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live. 1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes. 2. Write the story that has to be written. Mom ents of raw human connection are rare, precious and in the end the only thing that matters. I am sitting on my sister’s hospital bed before a serious surgery. She is terrified and hyperventilating. Our relationship has been plagued by distance, miscommunication and mutual recrimination. On that night, there was only tenderness. I held her hand. We breathed together. She looked into my eyes and her breathing slowed. What flowed between our breath and our eyes was love. It is barely a week since my sister passed away. I have come to take my parents to see my sister’s apartment and go through some of her personal items. I worry my mother will fall apart when she sees the remnants of a life cut short. We sit together and I help her think about what she hopes for from this visit. I help her articulate her fears. She starts to plan what steps she will take to move her toward her hopes and away from her fears. She is ready. I walk into my grandmother’s room with my husband. She has had a stroke but she remembers. The last time she saw us, she was being courted by a gentleman who visited her at her brother’s house. She starts to tell the story. Her daughters think she is hallucinating. We maintain eye contact and smile. She smiles. It was a happy memory. We know. It is enough. A woman tells me her life story. She is addicted to pain killers. She needs help. She needs money. She is a sweet soul who has just helped me buy my train ticket and guided me to my platform. I urge her to get help. I tell her about my own sister. I tell her life is too precious to waste away on an addiction. We take each others hands. She thanks me for listening and treating her with dignity. She ushers me onto my train. I sit down and cry like a baby. I want to look you in the eye. I want to smile. I want to hold your hand. We are connected. This is the story. | |
| | | the “pen” -ultimate challenge | | | noreply@blogger.com (Pearl Mattenson, CPCC, ACC) | | | If you are reading this, then, like me, you probably believe that we are a work in progress. We evolve in response to the changes around us and the changes within us. Hopefully our evolution is conscious and intentional. We actively work on the bits and pieces that are the substance of who we are becoming. And more often than not, we get stuck. We get in our own way. We keep repeating old patterns or we find ourselves in the midst of completely new traps. Our mind is so good at deceiving us, at letting us rationalize avoidance of the tough inner work. I want to share with you a simple idea that keeps hitting me in the face. It is my very own boxing bag that I try to punch out of my way; it gets the better of me every time. Ready?...We can write our way into a new state of being. Don’t say it, I know. You are not a writer. Writing doesn’t come naturally to you. You don’t have time for writing. Blah, blah, blah. Been there. Oh—and I am not talking about keeping a journal or a diary. Nope—been there too. There may be value to that for you. But in my experience, journals and diaries became a shrine to what is, and what was—not a pathway to what can be. We can write our way into a new state of being. I don’t have all the research at my fingertips about why this works. People I trust advocate writing as an essential element to change. And I know from personal experience that it works. Sometimes I am drawn into writing at a group event or when my own coach challenges me. And sometimes I am so stuck about a project or a goal, that I pick up my pen and tackle my demon to the ground. Do you know why? Because I can waste an awful lot of energy forcing myself to move past invisible obstacles. But when I use writing to explore the stuckness, the waters part of their own accord and the moving forward can feel so much easier. I am going to share just two ways of writing for change that have been really helpful to me. I re-use them and adapt them ad infinitum to suit my need. There are myriad others and if you have strategies that have worked for you please let me know. Letter Writing/DialogueI write letters to people in my life living and lost—people I am struggling with and people who know me better than I know myself at times. These letters help me to clarify my feelings, my needs and my message. Sometimes I need a ritual to burn or bury these letters. Sometimes, they turn into real life conversations with people. I write to different parts of me—present, past and future. I write to parts of me that feel hard and judgmental. I write to parts of me that are vulnerable. I write to parts of me that have a longer view and can access some wisdom. I ask myself questions. I listen. When I do this I write it out as a dialogue. I become a script writer channeling the voices and energy I don’t often create space for. Powerful Questions Asking ourselves big important, open-ended questions is a way of sitting down with and tapping into the wise and reflective parts of ourselves. It is what I do for you when I am coaching. And we can do it for ourselves. Here are some examples of powerful questions: What is next? What am I learning about...? What reassurance do I need? How am I holding myself back? What is the support I could be asking for? If I could let this go, what would I grab hold of instead? What is getting my attention? No one has to see your writing!! No one has to know you are writing. And, writing is a power tool . For your own leadership, for your own life. Try it. Some resources you might be interested in: The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year by Jennifer LoudenThe Monster manual and Coloring Book by Havi Brooks | |
| | | Spring Cleaning for the Mind and Spirit | | | Tara Enns, Solution Pathways | | | Every year around this time, I begin to feel prompted to start my spring cleaning process - how I love and look forward to that feeling of clearing away clutter, throwing out or giving away what is no longer needed, uncovering, dusting off or even repairing things of value from the past, re-organizing my space and time and making room for things that are fresh, new and exciting. In my happy anticipation of this time, the thought occurred to me that as valuable as spring cleaning is, in the physical world, perhaps a mental spring cleaning is just as necessary too. In my work and in my own experience l have found that a generalised feeling of clutter and disorganization is not limited to just our physical space, but is often found in our mental and psychological way of being where we can also feel cluttered, crowded and disorganized in our overall environment, thoughts, activities, self expectations and emotions. When finding yourself in a disorganized and over crowded state of being, try taking a look at things from a spring cleaning point of view. Where is there clutter in your life? Is your physical environment in harmony with your mental and emotional state of being? Perhaps there are activities, involvements and responsibilities that absorb your time and energy? Where can you set some boundaries or delegate more effectively? What can you start saying "no" to? Maybe there are relationships that you have out grown or ones from the past that need repair? What relationships are nurturing to you and which ones are draining you? What about the limiting beliefs and negative chatter cluttering your mental space? Are you holding onto toxic emotions and baggage? Are there negative thinking patterns that need to be discarded? Where do you need more room to breathe? If this all seems overwhelming, a great starting point is getting reacquainted with your personal core value system, and you can do this by asking yourself: what is really important to you right now, and why? what are your best qualities that form your identity? to what degree are you acting out these qualities?what qualities do you value most in other people? Make a list of all those key value words and then use them as criteria for sorting and weeding out that which is taking up your mental and emotional space and is no longer needed. Once your space is clear, you then will have created room for refreshing and new ideas, experiences and states of being. | |
| | | THE KING’S SPEECH: A VIEW INTO LEADERSHIP! | | | Bob Benwick, MSc. OD, MCC, PCC, CPCC | | | A dear friend and a leading organization development consultant and senior executive coach, Leslie Osborn, just published the following blog that she has so kindly allowed us to share with you. You will no doubt find her powerful observations on leadership as fascinating and insightful as I. Enjoy! “If you’re interested in leadership – here’s a suggestion. Run; [...] | |
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| | | | Coach Profile Spotlight | | | | | Tara Enns | | | Tara Enns (ACC) is a professional life coach and a credentialed member of the International Coach Federation (ICF), who owns and operates Solution Pathways, her private coaching and personal development practice. As a coach, Tara is passionate about connecting people with their inner brilliance... | | | Full Profile & Contact Information... | |
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| | | | | | Pearl Mattenson, | | | Pearl’s clients become better leaders, and better people. They are better at having the real conversations that create results. They are better at moving their organization towards the changes they believe in. They are working more collaboratively and learning to thrive in teams and partnerships. | | | Full Profile & Contact Information... | |
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| | | | | | Jeannie Campanelli | | | Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, is deeply committed to sparking the hearts of people to experience an inner confidence - that sense of wholeness, aliveness, and serenity that comes from deeply knowing yourself, fully accepting the lightness and darkness of being human, and living freely by standing in your own truth. | | | Full Profile & Contact Information... | |
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